argh. i guess im in love with my workplace. its kinda fun though its working. haha. at least you are earning money, you see. these two days of NOT WORKING. makes me feel so bored. haha. unexpectedly, going out to town was a total mistake. get to know others, but indirectly i caused someone into trouble because i spoke out some 'rubbish'. OMG.. im so wrong. argh. just wish to stay out of others' lives. and continue with my own. i wasted some monies on cab and a drink that sucks. a total wastage of 30 plus. seriously, i rather not going out to entertain myself. i should save up the money for needs. i'm starting to feel despair. can i choose to hide? i noticed that i keep making mistakes. what's wrong with myself? i keep making my baby mad. at times, i done some stuffs that causes a disaster. argh!... i seriously didnt want all of these to happen. i think i should just shut myself up again. thus, nothing would happen then. it'll be better this way. overall, im sorry for everything. i'll be the emo, me, again. except during work, then i got no choice. being friendly, only leads to arguement. why that? let's take the taking back of things for instance. i didnt expect that you didnt want the LV back. i thought its part of the 'returning back of stuff'. and again because of this i got scolded. i dont blame you cause its my fault. i didnt check it with you. its part of my negligence.

i start to feel wrong.
i didn't expect you to avoid me.
what is the point of telling you.
is there a need?
i felt that i shouldnt even care.
like as if im any thing to you.
im just a 'someone' in your dictationary.
do you know you badly hurt me.
im hating you and yet i love you.
whats the point, seriously man.
i should get a life.
i should face the fact
you're someone hard to get.
why should i even try?
i just hope to hear from you.
is it that tough?
i really miss you.
i really do.
i love you was it meant to be a mistake??

blah blah blah.

today the workload was fun. all newcomers had fun at brunch. where we had our 'lesson' on Menu. wahahahaha. somehow miss working there. im so weird!....

i really miss you.
hope to see you soon.
when you somehow rejected me.
it hurts a little though.
but after a little while,
im fine.
i hope we could be together one day.
i dont mind to wait.
but im afraid i couldnt wait.
i really love you.
it hurts when you dont reply.
i just hope i can say 'I LOVE YOU' to you.
please..
how am i suppose to do so?

the brunch life.

omg. working for 3days in a roll. fucking exhausted. practically standing up for hours. currently knee caps need some recuperation. haha. luckily having my off for this few days. til thurs i guess. haha....

fri.

went to work at 10am. and ended at 11.30pm. it was fun man. i got transferred from banquet to the poolside cafe. got to know so many new colleagues man.. comparing banquet and brunch cafe. i rather choose the brunch. haha...

went clubbing with baby. finally can treat my baby drink le. we bought tequilla shots and vodka ribenna? (i dont know how to spell it correctly) haha... whatever!! i was fucking drunk la. maybe due to the exhaustion that caused me to get drunk that easily. bullshits.!! practically, i can only remember bits and pieces of what happened that day. haha. and i got back at 4am..

Sat.

woke up at 10am. fuck! i was suffering from hangover. gonna drag my feet to the toilet. YAWNS!... lazy.. then went to work le. but ended work early. at 9.30.. haha.. but went to the smoking area after that. have a long chat with my colleague talking about homosexuals. and we had fun talking about it. LAME!....

then called baby to date her out to clubbing. but she was pretty confused until she heard that terry had some 'troubles' thingy. whatever la!... haha.. then baby cabbed down to maxwell. and i was pretty concerned about baby's boredom, so i cabbed down too. haha.. weird. but we couldnt enter play because we passed the time limit. fuck it's at 11. and no one tell us about it. pathetically, we sat at maxwell market for hours till Play close. some idiots banned terry from entering Play. omg. seriously that idiot need to get a plastic surgery job. he looks so... YUCKS! dont even wanna think about it.

after Play closure. that WeiXXe damn fucked up. trying to create troubles for himself. and what the fuck is wrong with him. he changed his words. smart of him.. NOT!!! we were damn fucking pissed up!. but whatever he do, we never link to us again. that'll be a relieve to my baby too. haha.

after that, we went to cineleisure for our 'breakfast'. at "Xin Wang Cafe". i ordered curry rice and the egg&ham sandwich for baby and me. but the standard of their food dropped. digusted by it. we complain to the management and they compensate us with mango puddings. again it sucks! haha. but ya, damn not interested in eating. so we ask for the bill to get out that place asap.

we slacked til around 6.30 am.... jumping here and there... kissing here and there... and terry doing his MV. haha.

the closure of the post for now. will be... im back home at 7am.. haha.

why is it so.

too many things took place.

fri went to meet my counsellor. we've talked about everything that happened which involved with my driving case. well, it totally striked me alot. from him, i got to know that T.P decided in charging me. with my confirm jail-term. i didnt tell anyone that it'll be finalize soon. simply i couldnt say much. what had happened had already been a done case. nothing to elaborate further neither a solution out. either i pay the fine or accept the jail term. though its only 15days. but it sucks.

wanting to meet baby to go town. but ended up she's very tired. i do not wish to force her out and ended up an arguement especially when someone is tired. tempermental get it. so i promised her i'll be back by 11. eventually things didnt go the way i planned. everything cropped up which caused a terrible mistake between us. Im really sorry. i really dont know what to explain anymore. that night i made a last min decision to go play. it should be fun but in fact it wasnt. i wanted baby to go. and i totally want her to be there. disappointly i couldnt get her. and then... the massive destruct had happened. im totally shagged. i was a total 'broken-hearted' fella. no mood to club neither. everything sucks. i just wish to apologise to her. and tell her that i never mean to do it. sigh.

IM VERY SORRY..

MAGGIE MEE NIGHTMARES

imagine maggie mees meals for weeks.
im seriously sick of it..
my brother enjoys macs..
and pity me.
only have the instant noodles.
suffering from gastric pain...
might be the noodles that hurt it.
and definitely im gonna suffer from indigestion.
im fretting over jobs.
how i wish im rich...
wahahaha.
then i dont have to work at all.
its definitely impossible....

im missing you.
have been thinking over it.
what am i to you?
will you know it?
doubt so huh.
whats love or like?
is it worth it?
i just wish that things can be reversed.
wish to be back 5 years.
then i'll get things right.
yes!

a job im confused about.

Yesterday(wed) went to Pan Pacific to get my interview done.
the pay was pretty attractive as it was 6/hr.
but the requirement is that i gotta cut my hair and get my hair dyed.
banquet requirements man.??
i dont feel like cutting nor dye my hair.
but i need money.
moreover i was recommended by my aunt whom work there.
babyFER & sisQI said its not worth it at all.
just for a job that i might not be working long..
sacrifice my beloved hair and colour..?
IT'S STUPID!!
but as a guy, there isnt any job available for me.
either it needed a cert or im not at the age yet.
im confused!...

i like someone who doesnt even know.
i dont know whether there is any chance for us or not.
but i cant be bothered. yeah
liking you might be a mistake.

[YOU] i know you are someone great.
but i dont know whether in future will there be any chances.
being friends, i admire you.
being good friends, i love you.
but not being stead.
i dont wish to lie.
being concern about you,
doesnt mean im able to like you.
IM SORRY..

I GOTTA GO MY WAY

[Gabriella]
I gotta say what's in my mind
Something about us
Doesn't seem right these days
Life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try,
somehow the plan
Is always rearranged
It's so hard to say
But I've gotta do what's best for me
You'll be ok...
I've go to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this
World somedayBut at least for now
I gotta go my own away
Don't wanna leave it all behind
But I get my hopes up
And I watch them fall everytime
Another colour turns to grey
And it's just too hard to watch it all
Slowly fade away
I'm leaving today 'cause
I'veGotta do what's best for me
You'll be ok...
I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this
World somedayBut at least for now
I gotta go my own away

[Troy]

What about us?
What about everything we've been through?

[Gabriella]
What about trust?

[Troy]
you know I never wanted to hurt you

[Gabriella]
and what about me?

[Troy]
What am I supposed to do?

[Gabriella]
I gotta leave but I'll miss you

[Troy]
I'll miss you

[Gabriella]
soI've got to move on and be who I am

[Troy]
Why do you have to go?

[Gabriella]
I just don't belong hereI hope you understand

[Troy]I'm trying to understand

[Gabriella]
We might find our place in thisworld someday
but at least for now

[Troy]I want you to stay

[Gabriella]
I wanna go my own wayI've got to move on and be who I am

[Troy]
What about us?

[Gabriella]
I just don't belong hereI hope you understand

[Troy]
I'm trying to understand

[Gabriella]
We might find our place in this world someday
but at least for now
I gotta go my own away
I gotta go my own away
I gotta go my own away

i finally so called 'finish' up the blog.
it seems lame does it?
alrights lets get to the point.
it took such a long time since i last blog..
arghs.. who cares..