MORNING MAD-NESS!

OK! since im darn free now, i decided to post in today's journal.... (laughs).





lets talk about today's 'event'...



slept at early 3 plus and woke up at 9.30. great?!... was damn tired... today was my first day at work in my new workplace at Sepang Bedok. it was cool. very nice place though. haha. worked from 12-3. it was busy but not as busy as in Brunch. now, im damn sleepy and tired. haha. 2 hours spent on journey time! its ok with me! SOBS. my left knee-cap hurts. doesnt even know why. maybe its because i keep standing? or maybe im getting 'old'. oh my!... WILL KEEP MY WORKING SPIRIT UP! work it out! TOTALLY SHAGGED!







& the moment i've been waiting for... my love story...





i dont know whether do i count it as the 3rd day or the 4th day that im living without you. but something you did today, pissed me off.. way off.... i arranged to meet you after my work but you told me that you dont know whether you wanna go out or not, because you dont feel like?? unfortuately, i seen a message that totally brought my mood down, " hmm today i maybe not going out, thought of going town but Felicia dont want, hahas. " what is this? one moment telling me that you are not feeling good enough to go out and another moment telling me you want to go town with Felicia. what's really going on? at times, i felt so in love. at times, i felt that you're just, SCARY, again. im really confused! for instance, you quarrelled & almost fight with your mother for the White Lily that i bought for you. even though, it had already withered, you still want to keep it as a memory. to be honest, IM REALLY TOUCHED! though the fact, your mother had thrown it down the building. hmmm.

last night, in the middle of night, you messaged me. though the fact i was about to sleep but i felt that you need somebody to talk to. so we chatted on the phone. i dont understand why you keep saying Sorry for letting me know about your family issues. but there's something i would want to say, its really ok. believe me. though the fact we are no longer steads but we were once together. dont know why but yesterday before i sleep, i had the urge to call you Baby again. in the message you sent and said "baby, are you gonna stop calling me baby anymore? i really miss you too. my mum had already thrown the lily away. sorry, even if the lily had died, i also want to keep it." but i was already asleep. regretted that i couldnt reply it. in appox. 30 mins later, you dropped me another message, " i will leave to fate whether we can patch or not, alright? i dont wanna force you or what. good night." when i woke up and read it, i felt that i'm being too stubborn. but think about it again, its not that i want it this way. its just that i couldnt do it. its really tough.. i really want to give you a hug again. i really wish i can really call you baby again. but overall, i just couldnt accept what you had done to me. what you had did in the past with your EXs, aint my business at all. you meant alot to me once. but now, im too afraid to even make a step forward again. what if, its a dead end ahead??





SO GONE!

EVERYTHING WAS A BIG MISTAKE

today at work, everything went wrong. my manager is just there to pick on me whether be it is related to me or not. fuck it totally. i was very pissed! being the SENIOR of casual labourer. and yet it wasnt appreciated! thats so fucked up!




ALSO TODAY.....


i received messages from you. i dont know whether is it meant to be good or not. but its already the 3rd day im living without you. each day seems so tough and miserable. telling myself im not gonna be EMOtional about it anymore but i just couldnt. i cant HATE you because you are someone i LOVE. i really wish to call you baby again. i really wish i can call you or see messages, saying that you miss me. but worst still, i kept hearing 'stories' about you. it just keep haunting me down. COOKIE MONSTER! it just reminds me of you. im utterly hurt to the max. but i couldnt cry. it really hurts. worst still, not able to cry. I WANNA TELL YOU THAT I MISS YOU MUCH! there's alot of things i want to tell you. but can I?